Dear Algorithm …

I have an unusual guest post today from fellow Crooked Cat author Tom Halford.  A story, in the form of a one-sided conversation with a Twitter Algorithm.  Ah, the lengths we authors will go to, to sell our books.  I just feel sorry for the goat ….

Dear Algorithm,

by Tom Halford

7:00 AM

Dear Twitter Algorithm,

Deli Meat is being released today.

A review:

“Really enjoyed reading this. Didn’t know what to expect next and had a handful of some serious belly laughs. Very fun read.”

Will you make me trendy?

Sincerely,

Tom Halford

9:00 AM

Dear Twitter Algorithm,

I have a confession. Last night I drove to top of a mountain, a goat bleating in my trunk.

Dragging it out and gazing at the circuitry of lights, I pulled a blade from my pocket and shouted, “For the Algorithm!”

More soon,

Tom

12:00 AM

Dear Twitter Algorithm,

My confession continues.

Blue and red lights flickered against the goat’s eyes. I turned.

“Sir, what are you doing with that goat?” asked the officer.

I heard hooves trotting off, down the hill.

Will write soon,

Tom

4:00 PM

Hi again Twitter Algorithm,

My confession continues.

The officer stared at me and said, “You better catch it. You wouldn’t want to upset the algorithm.”

We sidestepped down the mountain but couldn’t keep up with the goat.

Will write soon,

Tom

8:00 PM

Hi,

Sorry to write again Twitter Algorithm,

“The Algorithm will be furious,” said the officer, who tripped and crashed down the rocky slope.

A flock of tiny blue birds seemed to flutter up out of the lifeless body.

More soon,

Tom

MIDNIGHT

Dear Twitter Algorithm,

It is night here. I did not become a trendy hashtag. Oh well.

It’s almost as if I can hear the goat’s hooves now, tapping down the street.

I reach for my knife but for what?

Good night,

Tom

Effie Pitts is not your typical hero of a crime novel.

Looking for her husband who disappeared during a bachelor trip across the border, Effie stumbles onto a hidden connection between a series of crimes plaguing the citizens of Plattsburgh, New York.

Tourists and shoppers have been disappearing for four years, and locals are certain a serial killer is prowling the streets of the small border town—that is until a mysterious cult known as The Pure White Hand surfaces.

Effie travels to the United States looking for answers, but she only finds more questions.

Where is her husband? Has she bitten off more than she can chew?

You can find Deli Meat on Amazon here